22 August 2010
18 February 2007
Hmm, so the blog died for the second time.
And I don’t really want to explain my abandonment of the blogging world, ... ill leave it at that!
And as I write this, I have to admit that the blog that has inspired this piece... whatever it turns out to be .. was reading the blog entries form bibi aesha's blog!
I realize that the journey's, experiences and introspections she so eloquently pieces together into sentences and paragraphs that make so much sense ... are similar to the internal dialogues created in my mind!
As my thoughts wander along the memories and experiences that have led me to think that way I do, to make the decision the way I do, or help shape who I am today, I feel a sense of pride! My longing and endless frustrating yearning for something that I had no idea what exactly that was...has led me to say.... I finally have a sense of who I truly am.
I don’t want to sound like an advert for the ‘self-help’ section of exclusive books! (Of which I shyly admit that I somehow end up at) or OPRAH. But this has been the most remarkable part of 2006 for me! A fantastic year which will remain one of the best of my life!
As unique, strange, inconstant, vibrant, different, and the list of adjectives go on... as every other human being on this earth! … I am me! and I find the discovery of the self fascinating!
My story is different! No one can boast the experiences and challenges I’ve faced! My story is mine! And today I declare that warts and all, I am proud of who I am.
I have been told by a close friend of mines… actually 3… that I have an amazing ability to write so much, yet say so little! And admittedly it freaks me out that people might discover my blog and actually waste their time reading this! But for today… the effort and time I’ve taken to pen the above will mean that its going to be published! perhaps deleted... at some stage.
I have returned home this year after an exciting 2006 away from home. As expected, I have changed a whole lot. And the world has carried on without me. Adjustment has not been an easy one and the challenges of everyday have been worth every bit! I love being home.! Not that being at home is a bed of roses either!
So in no particular order of importance, …ill mention a few interesting, peculiar, expected, alarming and poignant changes I have encountered! And maybe one or two lessons I’ve learned! And maybe one or 2 arbitrary comments!
As much as I can remember for today! And perhaps if there is another blog entry… I might mention few more!
1) My hair is longer! And have managed to loose 8 kilos in a matter of a few days in January!
2) Most of my friends are married… or planning to getting married.. or are in a serious long term relationship ready to commit!
3) My sisters have matured into beautiful women I learn from everyday
4) I love and appreciate my parents more than I ever have! And more than they know.
5) No relationship is guaranteed!
6) I’m still as stubborn, indecisive and disorganized as ever!
7) I have been described as complicated.
8) Every relationship (with friends, acquaintances, family, colleagues, enemies and the like) I had in 2005, has changed! This is mostly because of a conscious decision to redefine the nature of the relationship. This is based on a variety factors. And its been interesting redefining and rediscovering bits of new information about everyone!
9) I miss my sister and late cousin more than ever!
10)I am an independent young Muslim women! (peculiar, but true)
11) I don’t want my life to be too easy. I have learned to accept and appreciate the challenges that Almighty Allah has placed on me.. as I learn the greatest during these times. (this I usually say on hindsight)
12) I have been described a ‘missable sort of person’ by a friend from last year!:) that made me smile!
13) I am able to adapt to new situations, new cultures, new people and new experiences with ease.
14) I hate traffic… but love the time I spend alone with myself in the car
15) SAFM is cool!
16) I have learned lessons of love
17) I don’t want to know you if you define me based on what I look like, or what I do!
19) I have so much to learn about life… so bring it on!
And that’s enough for now! Or my rambling will continue!
Peace out!
Shen
24 October 2006
Eid Mubarak
This blog has been in construction in my mind since the beginning of the year. The ‘great’ idea was originally (inspired by my good friend saaleha) to capture and jot down all the interesting experiences and happenings in my life thus far. This I would have a treasure trove of my experiences for that One Day when I read and realize just how much each of my life experiences, each personality I’ve had contact with and all the different places I’ve visited has had an impact on my and inner journey that helps define who I am today.
It also should provide me with a platform to discuss my work and journey as a budding OT, trying to discover my place in this vast, fascinating profession.
I’ve had many inexcusable reasons why I haven’t really bogged, but that’s not important. Well, it is the end of October, and it has finally taken off. And this time, I’ve scrapped the great idea. The blog will just have to speak for itself…
And so I begin this blog on an extremely positive note, that is: I hope to keep it alive for as long as I have fun creating it. haha
Putting words onto paper has never been my strongest talents. I do enjoy language, and strive to learn a few more in my lifetime, but creative writing or writing in general... now that’s a challenge.
One of my favourite reads on my bookshelf at home (in Johannesburg) is Rumi, by R.A Nicholson.
Here's a poem that inspired me today:
The song of the Reed
Hearken to this Reed forlorn
Breathing, even since 'twas torn
From its rushy bed, a strain
Of impassioned love and pain
''The secret of my song, though near,
None can see and none can hear.
Oh, for a friend to know the sign
And mingle all his soul with mine!
'Tis the flame of Love that Fired me,
'Tis the wine of Love inspired me.
Wouldst thou learn how lovers bleed,
Hearken, hearken to the Reed''
-RUMI
(In the poem, Rumi uses the reed (which is used as a flute) as a symbol for the soul emptied of self and filled with the divine spirit, where the spirit remembers its submission to God and longs for its departure from this world to a better place)
As this is the day of Eid ul Fitr, a day to celebrate the blessed and soul fulfilling month of Ramadaan, I felt really sad that the month has come to a close. Yes yes, for those who know me… my appetite and fasting don’t always agree! But as we drove (from one end of Jhb to the other), I thought about my month, and felt a small sense of strength, and accomplishment. I truly feel that a lot of what I set out to achieve in this month, I have. This month has brought me closer to understanding why I choose Islam, understanding me, has brought me closer to the Quraan, to certain true friends, and has increased my yearning for knowledge.
As I’m not too sure what else to write, I’ve decided to add my best and most painful moments today:
Best:
The morning Eid Gah in Brixton, my favourite start to the day. Hearing Sheik Yahya recite the Takbeer with such passion and conviction can be best described as soul food. There’s no Eid with out it. I feel totally at peace and at home. And of course, meeting and greeting friends, neighbours and family thereafterJ all united by our faith!
My worst:
Missing my favourite cousin, and her parents, who passed away in November last year. As the family enjoyed our meals, shared jokes, exchanged stories, teased one another, I missed my dear cousin, And with my sister not with us on Eid as well... I missed her more. I’ve met no-one like her. Every person she met, she left a mark in there lives. Her spirit, simplicity, energy, spunky yet warm personality and crazy ideas …. Sigh, I miss her.
And that’s all folks!
If you’ve read up until this point, well done!
If not, well, I do understand!
Comments are welcome
Take care
20 February 2006
welcome to my world
welcome to the world of my blog.
this is the beggining of a jouney never to be forgotten
a bit of a late start, but an exciting one!
welcome to my small town
my zululand
my idea on life!!